Doctor Who as a franchise is magnificent in large part because of the sheer amount of spinoffs. (And I don't just say that because of my personal involvement in some of them!) From whole other worlds in the Whoniverse to tight tie-ins, there's always something new to discover. It's how we kept ourselves fed during the Wilderness Years, and it's not stopped just because it's on the air again.

I am largely new to the comics, though I've enjoyed immersing myself in them more. The latest across my desk, thanks to the lovely people at Titan Comics, is the Fifteenth Doctor tie-in Everyone Must Go. The new story takes the Doctor and Ruby from the times of Dick Turpin to a future shopping mall—introducing a screamworthy new baddie and shades of horrors from Doctor Who eras past.

The Story

As noted toward the beginning of this collection, Everyone Must Go takes place directly after the episode Rogue. We are still in the midst of the mysteries of Ruby Sunday's mother and Susan Triad's identity, and the concept of a pantheon lurking around the edges of the Whoniverse is in play. This new adventure takes the current Team TARDIS from the (relatively) recent past to the far future—from a skewed 1700s to the last shopping center on Earth.

Led (or perhaps lured) to the mall, the Doctor and Ruby discover a lost little girl in its halls. And, it would seem, Cybermen are here as well. But the truth is far more convoluted. At the heart of this adventure is a new villain: the Scream Sommelier, an interdimensional being who bottles and preserves the universe's rarest and most horrified screams. But the Sommelier has one very specific white whale: the scream of a Time Lord.

As the story progresses, subjecting Earth's last shoppers to unspeakable terrors and jumping across dimensions, one question remains: what truly frightens the Doctor?

The Lore

Writing for a Doctor Who character and writing for a Doctor Who era are two very different animals. The new material for Tales of the TARDIS tells us as much. It's quite possible to write a character pitch-perfect while still leaving them detached from their era; or to nail the vibe of an era with characters that sound off. Fortunately, Everyone Must Go masters both.

The Doctor and Ruby are in fine form, striking that bizarre but unmistakable balance between "we're both suffering from childhood trauma" and "we can't go on an adventure without a fashion show first." In addition to characterization, it latches nicely (for the most part) into the Sutekh-centric storyline of "Season 1." The comic's original run began around the time Rogue aired, so any benefit of hindsight would have come from sneak peeks at the episodes to come. Regardless of whether the creative staff were informed in advance or just well-guided by the powers that be, everything fits in beautifully.

Of particular note is the Sommelier's seeming fourth wall break. There comes a point when he tidily folds away some panels of the comic. Once again, the RTD2 era is breaking the boundaries of the medium to reach out to us. Does that make the Sommelier a member of the Pantheon? That's one to think on.

The Rest

Kelsey Ramsay is certainly a talented artist, but the art of Everyone Must Go is definitely "your mileage may vary." The rough, modern style feels appropriate to the era, but it does have one flaw: likenesses fall apart a bit. For the Doctor and Ruby, this isn't that big a deal. Between their iconic accoutrements and the fact that they tend to own whatever scene they're in, we're unlikely to lose them in a crowd.

The problem comes when trying to integrate the Susan Triad subplot. In the final few pages, it's revealed that one of the shoppers was yet another Susan Twist. Falling in line with the events of Rogue, the Doctor and Ruby were to the point of noticing her presence, though they didn't yet know who she was. And yet, for the life of me, I could not see a character that struck me as intentionally a Susan Twist lookalike. Perhaps it was a later addition; perhaps we weren't meant to actually spot her. But it feels a bit odd to call it out without either doing it or making it clear that it's been done.

All that aside, that is one flaw in a broadly fun comic. The many storylines—lost child Maria, the Sommelier's schemes, and Ruby's new bug friends—actually all tie together in a satisfactory way. Considering how heavy with subplots this story seemed, that's really impressive. Revisiting Ruby's very real fears, as well as examining what fear means to a Time Lord, was a great approach. But it does bear mentioning that I'm a Doctor Who fan who prefers the show when it's horror. So this comic is absolutely catering to me personally. Again. Your mileage may vary.

This is a story deeply rooted in the era it expands upon. If you're a fan of Ncuti Gatwa's Doctor, especially paired with Millie Gibson as Ruby Sunday, this belongs in your collection.

Doctor Who: The Fifteenth Doctor: Everyone Must Go is now available from Titan Comics.

 

Take three things I love—tea, limited-edition flavors, and (nearly) anything from the UK—put them in a box, and that's this new collection. Plum Deluxe, who have become one of my alternative tea outlets while my primary continues moving house, recently put this box on offer in two varieties. The box celebrates the tea brand's fifth year, and offers a variety of blends inspired by the history, culture, and (of course) tea traditions of the UK.

I'm tackling the ten flavors from the caffeinated selection (because I'm a bit less of an herbal tea girlie): from new takes on familiar flavors to some that, frankly, took me by surprise. And if you'd like to give these teas a try, check them out here! Incidentally, no discount code to offer here. This review isn't a collab or a sponsorship, and I don't get a kickback. Just me wanting a taste of the UK while I wait to go back.

Afternoon High Tea White: 4.5/5
White teas can be tricky, both to blend and to brew. While many fruit teas on this list are more fruit than tea, this one surprisingly manages to create a nice balance. The peach is definitely the foremost note, but the light white tea notes also come through. This one is lovely hot or iced, and is a nice choice for anyone who isn't a fan of actual leaf tea. It's also not as finicky as many other white teas when it comes to steep time.

Builder's Blend Black: 5/5
"Builder's tea" isn't a specific blend of tea, but rather a way of serving it: super-strong black tea with milk and sometimes sugar. Pairing a strong Assam with light caramel essence was a surprisingly effective way to get that across. (Most would go straight for vanilla.) That said, this blend also works as the basis for a builder's tea. The caramel doesn't overshadow the natural taste of the Assam, meaning it will stand up to a long steep and a generous splash of milk. As simple as it is, it's one of my top picks for this box.

Eton Mess Black: 4.5/5
If you don't know what Eton Mess is, the enclosed pamphlet will explain—and even give you a recipe for a single-serving version! This is a very complex blend, mixing flavor notes with black and rooibos teas, but the result is fantastic. It's sweet enough to not need sugar, but a little milk really elevates the vanilla notes. A perfect dessert tea.

Heritage Black Blend: 3.5/5
Overall, this tea has a lot to recommend it. Assam, African, and Darjeeling teas make up its base, and walnut essence and floral notes accentuate it. This tea also contains Vermont maple syrup extract—and don't get me wrong, I love maple, even in tea! But here, it comes on a little too strong, diluting a lot of the really nice tea accents. The maple does take a back seat as the tea gets cooler, so this might do better iced.

Highland Bramble Black: 4/5
At first glance, the teas in this blend seem like an odd match-up. There's black tea, there's smoky black tea, there's heather, and there's berry notes. But it all comes together in a surprisingly subtle tea. The smoke is more to the front (although not as strong as in a lapsang) the warmer the tea is, with the berry coming out more as it cools. It's a pleasant, less bold flavor, and one I definitely hope will be sold separately someday.

Mango Almond Oolong: 4.5/5
A surprisingly lovely one! As I've mentioned (and will mention) elsewhere, fruit teas in this box are often too much fruit and not enough tea. But this oolong strikes a perfect balance with the help of the almond flavor. While the blend itself is fantastic, its presence in a UK sampler seems a bit odd. It might have been nice to see another experimental blend in here. But the oddness of its presence doesn't change the fact that this is a very nice drink.

Mindful Morning Earl Grey: 5/5
I like a strong Earl Grey, and my go-to in recent months has been Chapters. But with them out of the running until May, Plum Deluxe is a very, very close second. I could smell the bergamot as soon as the hot water hit the leaves, and the blend itself is perfectly balanced with hints of orange peel and vanilla. Tea latte makers, this one is strong enough to stand up to extra milk and flavorful enough to complement your mix.

Pineapple Market Square Green: 4/5
One thing my hometown-away-from-home Colonial Williamsburg has in common with London is a mild obsession with pineapple motifs. But whereas the spiky fruit represents hospitality here, it's a sign of wealth and luxury in the Big Smoke. This pineapple green tea is very fruit-forward, with the green tea and green rooibos serving as a base more than as a flavor note. It would be great iced, and is a nice afternoon tea if you're looking for a bit less caffeine and a sweeter flavor.

Queen's Blend Green: 3.5/5
Much like the Pineapple Market Square Green before it, this is a green where the fruit overtakes the tea flavor. It's citrusy, which is nice, and will make for a solid iced tea. But if you're like me and actually enjoy the grassy, earthy notes of a green tea, you might feel like you're missing out a bit. It's nice enough—just doesn't taste much like a green.

Sunday Roast Black: 4.5/5
I'm a fan of savory teas, but I never get much chance to try them. This does what it says on the tin, mimicking a traditional Sunday roast. It doesn't get overly fancy: black tea, black pepper, rosemary, and a bit of orange peel. It's near perfect, and it's one I wish was sold on its own. This might not be for everyone, especially with the forwardness of the rosemary and black pepper. But if this ever goes on sale as a stand-alone, I'd encourage everyone to at least give it a try.

Pick up the Limited-Edition United Kingdom Loose Leaf Tea Sampler.

 

Sorry, but I hate warm weather. You're allowed to like it. But this starts the time of year when I long for chilly mornings and grey rainy days. I guess I could say something about how there are lots of new books blooming or some other flower metaphor, but... books!

I'm writing tired, what can I say. Enjoy these fantastic books, and thanks to the publishers who send these my way!

Bookish Candle: Green Gables Lane is one of my favorite scents ever from Frostbeard, and that's saying something. It's the Candle of the Month for April, and arrived just before the new Anne of Green Gables anime started airing! How's that for timing? Use my link to get 20% off your purchase of this and other book lovers' candles!

Tea Pairing: As we await the return of Chapters Tea & Co. during their cross-country move, I'm using this opportunity to explore other tea brands! This month, I'm getting to know the unique blends from Plum Deluxe. I'm currently enjoying their United Kingdom Loose Leaf Sampler, which includes ten unique teas to try. Look for my review of this collection on the blog next week!

ALL THE NOISE AT ONCE
by DeAndra Davis
Available now

Aiden Wright finally has his chance to join his brother on their high school's football team after an overstimulation meltdown killed his chances the previous summer. Even being a benchwarmer is a great start for him. But on the team's Superlative Night, the "Incident" happens. A teammate starts a fight with Aiden, a bystander calls the cops, and Brandon is arrested and accused of assaulting an officer.

Now Brandon's life is coming apart as he loses his scholarship, his place on the team, and potentially his freedom. As Aiden grapples with his new spot on the team and the guilt of being "at fault" for Brandon's arrest, he learns difficult truths about being a Black teen with autism—truths his parents attempted to shelter him from. Now, the trial that could make or break Brandon's entire life is approaching, and Aiden must figure out his role in the proceedings.

All the Noise at Once is a challenging read thematically, but one told with unprecedented honesty and care. Aiden's first-person narrative guides even inexperienced readers through the mind of a young person with autism, from the feelings that accompany sensory overload to the process of parsing hidden or falsified feelings. Best of all, the difficult topics between the covers are approached with realism, imperfection, and uncertainty. There isn't one character who knows best, there's no lapse into therapy speak or or carefully-worded monologue. The topics are difficult, and they're allowed to be difficult; and while there are some clear answers, others are more nebulous. Everyone, from the teens at the center of the story to the adult professionals, is allowed to be confused and angry and flawed as they confront injustice. Modern lit in general, and YA lit in particular, needs more of that freedom.

THE ANATOMY OF MAGIC
by J.C. Cervantes
Available now

Dr. Lily Estrada is going home—and "home" happens to be a magical hacienda in Mexico inhabited by the talented women of her family. All of them have a gift related to flowers, gifted to them through the sacrifice of their great-grandmother. Lily's is memory... and funnily enough, memories are torturing her right now. She's waiting out news on whether a routine surgery turned tragic will end her career as an ob-gyn. Her connection to her flower magic seems to be fading. And things only get worse when Sam, the man who broke her heart ten years ago, reappears as a guest at a wedding hosted by the Estradas.

The guilt of losing a patient, the heartbreak of her betrayal by Sam, and the fear that she's lost her goddess-given gift converge in a series of prophetic dreams. To reawaken her own magic, she'll have to reveal a long-buried secret to her family. Doing so brings even more secrets into the light, including the real reason for Sam's departure all those years ago. With the truth exposed, Lily makes a decision that threatens to alter the fate of her entire family and their connection to the land.

The Anatomy of Magic, like its preceding book The Enchanted Hacienda, has some definite Encanto vibes to it; but this is a complex romance intended for older readers. Even without reading the preceding novel, it's easy to get into the flow of the Estradas' home life. The legend at the heart of their powers is unique and surprisingly heartwarming, even though the limitations placed on the women of the family seem overly strict at first. If you're looking exclusively for romance with not much preamble, this is not the book for you. However, if you love character studies, family bonding, and slow-burn romances, this one will be just right.

BENNY ON THE CASE
by Wesley King
Available now

Benny lives in a retirement home in Newfoundland with his widowed mother, his best friend Mr. Tom, and the other senior residents. He also has Mosaic Down syndrome: a version of the condition that largely only affects Benny's appearance. But even that is enough to keep him out of a mainstream classroom for fear of bullying. He's finally fought his way into a class with the rest of his peers; and while there are indeed bullies, there's also new girl Salma from Seattle. And her expertise in technology and true crime will come in handy surprisingly soon.

A rash of burglaries has plagued the retirement home, and it won't take many more strikes to shut the place down—displacing not just the residents, but Benny and his mother as well. Together, he and Salma decide to crack the case themselves. But what starts as a bit of sleuthing ends up being much bigger than anyone bargained for. And as the pair seek out the truth behind Starflower's problems, they must also navigate constant bullying and the declining health of Mr. Tom.

Benny on the Case is a book full of love—not just for Newfoundland, but for the people among us who get put upon for being different. King's prose is witty, but never unbelievable as coming from the mouth and mind of its eleven-year-old protagonist. It contends with big issues: grief, abandonment, broken homes, and bullying, to name a few. But it also presents lessons and coping mechanisms that young readers can take to heart and learn from. It's also a great introduction to the cozy mystery genre for younger readers.

DEATH AT THE PLAYHOUSES
by Stuart Douglas
Available now

Fresh off a season of their hit series Floggit & Leggit, Edward Lowe and John Le Breton are off to do a bit of Shakespeare. John is filling in for an old friend, Sir Nathaniel Thompson, whose drunken antics have gotten him fired from the run of tragedies. Initially, John worries how he'll handle the social (and professional) awkwardness of taking over a role from a peer. But that soon becomes a non-issue when Nate is found brutally murdered near the playhouse.

While rehearsing for their turns onstage, the pair step into their other roles: those of amateur detectives. But the situation is more delicate this time, as John's ex-wife Sally has turned up unexpectedly in the midst of proceedings—and far too close to the criminal proceedings surrounding Nate's death. Worse still, a second member of the company turns up dead soon after. Solving this mystery will take Lowe and Le Breton from from England to the Netherlands, and into a conspiracy decades in the making.

The first Lowe and Le Breton mystery was an absolute delight, even for viewers unaware of its heavy Dad's Army inspiration. Laced with references that will register whether you're a Brit of a certain age or an American raised on late-night PBS programming, Death at the Playhouses broadens the world of Lowe and Le Breton even further. The two have grown beyond their inspirations, already becoming two of the great amateur sleuths of the 21st century (and, in a way, the 20th). Two books is not enough for this pair. While Lowe and Le Breton themselves might fancy fewer brushes with death, readers will absolutely want more.

LOVE AT SECOND SIGHT
by F.T. Lukens
Available April 29

Cam is a run-of-the-mill human living in a world inhabited by paranormal beings. His best friend Al is a witch, his crush Mateo is a werewolf, but he's content to be "normal." But all that changes when, during an altercation in the school hallway, Cam sees a flash of the future: a girl he's never seen before, covered in blood. All signs point to Cam being a clairvoyant: a very rare, very esteemed sort of psychic. Now he's the talk of every paranormal alliance in town; but all he wants is to help the stranger in his vision.

With the help of Al, Mateo, the sprite Reece, and the (very human) paranormal influencer Gemma, Cam sets out to navigate his two biggest problems. One, find the future murder victim and hopefully alter her fate. Two, navigate paranormal politics as sprites, witches, and fellow psychics vie for access to his powers. But as he approaches the truth, he begins to unveil uncomfortable knowledge much closer to home.

Despite the title, Love at Second Sight is a mystery first, romance second; if you're here for wall-to-wall smooching, this is not the book for you. As a touch-sensitive psychic, Cam can't even hold hands with his crush for quite a while. The overarching plot has shades of X-Men, albeit with a fantasy bent, as Cam learns to embrace his uniqueness in the face of family who aren't eager to have an "abnormal" son. The ending is somehow simultaneously predictable and rushed: even amidst a sea of red herrings, readers will chase down the answer long before Cam does. But a somewhat hurried and predictable ending doesn't make the rest of the book any less of an enthralling read.

 

It's that time again: time for a new issue of Otaku USA magazine! Big thanks to everyone who keeps picking up and reading these issues. It's a lot of fun being part of this mag, and I love the opportunity to talk at length about both new and classic series.

This particular issue was a very busy one for me, with six separate columns! So if you're an enjoyer of me writing about anime a whole lot, this will be one to grab.

First up is my review of Ameku M.D.: Doctor Detective. Between the memes about "what if House was an anime girl" and my own work as a writing advisor for medical school applicants, this was an interesting watch. All that said, I consider this an absolutely fab show... and one that does something that even my beloved House didn't always manage.

Also up for review is the new adaptation of Ranma 1/2. I am, in fact, a big fan of classic series getting reboots (see Yaiba on the cover!). And considering the original series was one of my first anime, I wanted to get in there and give my thoughts on this latest version. Spoiler: I liked it and it's good.

On to features, of which I penned three. Headhunted to Another World: From Salaryman to Big Four! is indeed another isekai offering, but I kind of loved this. Like Magilumiere before it, this takes a relatively standardized genre and stretches it to tell a story about the importance of unique skill sets. I always love a show where people whose skills aren't flashy or "cool" get a chance to shine.

On the other end of the spectrum is my review of season 2 of Shangri-La Frontier. Or, as Paul Chapman rightly calls it, "The Adventures of John Darksouls Who Is Good at Video Games." Calling it an isekai misses the entire point, even if you could call it one on a technicality. This is a monumentally great series about the hobby of gaming—possibly one of the strongest anime made on that front so far. And any opportunity to talk about it from that angle is an opportunity I shall take.

Finally, at least in features, I cover TASOKARE HOTEL. This is one of my recent pet anime, based on a mystery/room escape mobile game. The game itself was Very Okay, with a lot of the Okay-ness being down to a messy localization. But I'm thrilled that the anime has turned out as it did, and fascinated with the choices made to turn an interactive experience into a compelling TV series.

Last but not least, I've invaded a new section for me: games! I offered my thoughts on the demo of Genso Manège, a newly-localized otome visual novel. Between the art and the story, this was absolute catnip for me. So I'm glad to have given it a boost to our audience!

The new issue is on newsstands now. If your local magazine seller doesn't stock it, you can order a copy from the website. You'll also find daily news and features there, including regular reviews and articles from yours truly! As always, thanks so much for your support—and keep spreading the word!

 

How much do you know about Conan the Barbarian? The name? The loincloth? Next to nothing? Frankly it doesn't matter. Because The Savage Sword of Conan from Titan Comics is more than just a cool collection of classic action/adventure. It's an excellent first step into Robert E. Howard's legendary character.

This first collected volume compiles the first three issues of the new The Savage Sword of Conan comic, plus bonus materials including pinups, poetry, prose, essays, and more.

The three issues themselves are fantastic. John Arcudi's Conan and the Dragon Horde is a great kickoff, with Conan serving as a general on a quest for promised riches. Also along for the ride is the beautiful engineer Ineah, whose siege engines are shockingly perfect for the "unexpected" beasts the army faces. Max von Fafner's art is largely lovely, but his faces occasionally get uncanny in that sort of Modern Western Comics way.

Conan: Leaving the Garden was (to my mind) the most solid of the issues, depicting the Cimmerian digging himself out of a field used to harvest souls for consumption. Richard Pace's rough-hewn art is a surprisingly strong match for Jim Zub's unforgiving narrative, in which Conan must decide whether to honor an oath or eradicate a harmful village.

Frank Tieri's Conan: Wolves of the Tundra asks and answers a simple question: what if Conan became a werewolf? The self-contained story unfolds with bold art from Cary Nord: stunning action leading up to a humorous conclusion. The book ends with Alan Quah's wordless Conan: Lure of the Pit Creature, an inventive action piece.

But Conan isn't the only hero in this book. As with older Conan volumes, Solomon Kane gets space alongside Howard's better-known character. Patch Zircher writes and draws the three-part Master of the Hunt, in which Kane pursues the Wild Hunt and finds his faith shaken every step of the way. As excellent as these new Conan installments are, this three-part story feels like the best of the bunch in both writing and art.

The Savage Sword of Conan isn't just comics, though. This volume also includes two poems and a short story, Zub's "Sacrifice in the Sand," each coupled with new artwork. Pop culture scholar Jeffrey Shanks weighs in with "Men Shall Die for This," an essay on the history and cultural influence of Solomon Kane. And, of course, Titan Comics fills the back pages with alternate covers for avid collectors.

As a longstanding sword-and-sorcery fan, I had no doubt that The Savage Sword of Conan would click for me. But I was pleasantly surprised by just how much context and additional material there was, both for avid readers and newcomers alike. If you know Conan, you will love this book; if you don't know Conan, you will by the time you're through.

The Savage Sword of Conan Vol. 1 is now available from Titan Comics.

 

A while back, I mentioned I'd be taking a crack at GMing properly. I've made small attempts before, but my campaign of Girl by Moonlight: On a Sea of Stars is my first time really digging in and doing my damndest. I've got a great group of players and... well... I also love this system.

Besides just wanting to run a cool game for friends (two of whom are Forever DMs themselves, two of whom don't get to game as much as they'd like), I also wanted to start actually learning how to run games. I'm four sessions in, with many more to go, and there are a few things I've picked up so far. Old news to you old hands out there, I'm sure. But maybe there's someone who, like me, could use some encouragement and a look at the basics.

GMing Also Means Teaching

Art by Si F Sweetman

The only games that are "easy" are games that are designed to be easy (I'm thinking of Grant Howitt's amazing one-page games, which are great for beginners). No matter how good a game's structure is, or how much it feeds into what you and your group want to do, it still has to be learned. A part of GMing I never expected was the teaching aspect, but in retrospect, it's pretty obvious, isn't it?

Girl by Moonlight has a lot of moving parts, and plays with the Forged in the Dark system in interesting ways. For example, everyone gets stress from personal obligations at the beginning of a session, and that stress is wiped at the end (with certain exceptions).  Links are also used as a sort of interpersonal inspiration token: take time to get to know your teammates, and in return they can offer you free assistance in combat. In fact, a lot of this system runs on what you're willing to do for others. Healing can only be done by someone else helping you, for instance.

In retrospect, I sort of wish I'd gone the route Luke Westaway did in Oxventure Presents Blades in the Dark. He introduced some of the crunchier mechanics slightly later in the campaign's run, allowing the players to get accustomed to the basics. That said, I've been finding my own ways to teach the system. While NPCs with sheets aren't a thing in Forged in the Dark games, I used a fan-made support playbook to create a sort of DMPC. The way she's built, both mechanically and as a character, I can use her to demonstrate how to get the most out of what's available.

I've also taken to turning references into "tokens" on Roll20, placing them within view but out of the action. That way, players know at a glance what Links can be used for. It's very much dependent on the group, I suppose, how you teach a system. But between the Roll20 integration and making things readily visible to everyone, I think I'm getting there.

You Can Say No to the Book

Art by Si F Sweetman

Rules exist for a reason: to make games fair and fun. But if there's something in a book that just doesn't suit anyone, and it's not at the core of what the game is or how it's played... it's okay to do away with it. Case in point, Girl by Moonlight's stipulation that campaigns "start during the second season." I understand that generally: it allows players to know each other, build up the Promises that will help them dictate their action, and jump straight into the "good stuff."

Except... to me? The introduction is a major part of the "good stuff." So no, we started at episode 1. And I did the series design privately, working in elements that I knew the players would enjoy. That meant making a few tweaks, like having players set up their Promises after session 1 and altering when and how players first formed Links with their robots. But it's been worth it.

Similarly, I have one player playing the Enigma playbook. Generally, character info is supposed to be readily available over the table—and I do trust these players not to metagame. But the player requested that there be a period of time in which the mystery can be built up even to the players. Is this accounted for in the book? No. But who cares? To that end, we set up a clock that is ticking down based on rolls and events in the game. This means that a lot of mechanics are temporarily off the table. But for the fun of the mystery and the inevitable big reveal? It's worth it.

I'm Still a Player

Art by Si F Sweetman

Kiiiiind of. It's hard to explain.

Like, GMing is hard. It really is. It's a fun kind of hard—I'm writing on the fly, and I don't get to go back and edit. Ideas get thrown at me that aren't mine, and once in a while I see two that fit together and they make something new, and then I get to integrate it next week. But spinning all those plates is tough, and I'm still getting used to keeping them all in the air.

That said, I don't feel disconnected from the players. I may be the one calling most of the shots, but it feels like we're all here doing the same thing. We're all at a party, I'm just the one cooking dinner. Doesn't mean I don't get to enjoy the dinner, too.

Keeping that mindset—that we're all here for the same reason, that everyone is throwing their creativity down on the table—helps me get over that constant fear that I'll disappoint everyone or make a bad game. But at its best, I don't feel like anything's changed. I'm not against the players, even if I do throw them challenges. When I do the Mission phase, I have a few conditions laid out for what can or should happen. But I don't necessarily stick religiously to those conditions. If someone does something cool that makes complete sense for the scene, so be it: we follow that. I described the Mission phase as a game of chess between me and the players. There's not a stat block with HP, there's just a scene. Once they've outwitted me in a way that I can't help but love, they've done it.

The main thing I've learned, though, is that I want to keep GMing. I also want to keep playing, of course. But I think I like this. All I want in life is for the things I create to bring people joy. And where I initially thought GMing would force me to confront embarrassment and failure in real time, it's more like I'm getting to see something I made—something I am making in the moment—hitting home for people. Ain't no way I'm giving that up anytime soon.